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The Worst Lactation Specialist in Brooklyn
Let me set the stage for you: a new mom, a tiny human with an insatiable appetite, and a whole lot of confusion. A wise friend once said, “Back in the day, we raised babies in a tribe, with all the women before us ready to lend a hand.” Fast forward to today, and many of us are navigating this wild ride without our tribes nearby. So, what do we do? We hire our tribes!
Newborn Belly Button 101: Handling Your Baby's First 'Outie
Ah, the belly button—the tiny, mysterious mark left behind from one of the most magical connections ever made between a parent and child. Sure, it might not look like much in those early days, but your newborn’s navel holds a whole lot of significance. From keeping the area clean to managing diaper changes around it, belly button care is one of those sneaky parenting tasks you didn’t realize would take up so much of your brain space.
Vernix: Your Baby’s First Spa Treatment
Let’s talk about something no one told you at the baby shower: vernix caseosa. Don’t worry, it’s not a new disease or an exotic cheese you’ll be forced to sample at a fancy restaurant. It’s actually your baby’s first (and best) skincare routine—a waxy, creamy coating that makes your little one look like they just emerged from a spa rather than the womb. That’s right, your baby’s living their best life in utero, rocking a luxurious layer of vernix while the rest of us are still trying to figure out which moisturizer to use.
Positional Plagiocephaly Chronicles
When my sweet baby boy made his grand entrance into the world, we were immediately greeted by a surprise: a little flat spot on the back of his head. This wasn’t in the “How to Have a Baby” manual we read in childbirth class!
The Resilience of 9/11 Babies: Stories of Hope and Reflection
September 11, 2001, is a day etched in history for its profound tragedy and loss. However, amidst the heartache and devastation, new life emerged in New York City. For these “9/11 babies,” their arrival on this fateful day not only marked the beginning of their lives but also, in some cases, became intertwined with their parents' survival stories.
The Hilarious Differences Between Modern New Parents and Boomer Parents
Parenting has evolved dramatically over the decades, and the differences between how our Boomer parents did it and how modern parents are doing it now are nothing short of hilarious. Picture this: you and your partner get into the car after a family event, exhausted from chasing your little one around. As soon as the doors close, you both start talking shit about how your parents did things when you were a baby. “Can you believe they used to put us to sleep on our stomachs? No wonder I have trust issues!” you laugh. “And don’t even get me started on those weird, processed baby foods. How did we even survive?!”
Surviving Our First Week as Parents (and Two Hospital Stays!)
When you have a baby, it feels like you’re worried about everything under the sun. You’re constantly on edge, unsure of what you’ll need or what could potentially go wrong. It’s like you’re on a roller coaster and just hoping it doesn’t go off the rails.
The Big Snip or Not? The Circumcision Dilemma All New Boy Parents Face
So, you've got a baby boy on the way, and as if choosing between a dozen strollers and mastering diaper changes weren’t enough, now you’ve got to answer one of the age-old parental questions: to circumcise or not to circumcise?
Unsolicited Advice (NEW PARENT Edition)
Welcome to the Fresh Diapie Social Club, where we dive headfirst into the chaotic world of new parenthood with a hearty laugh and a wink. Today’s topic? The unsolicited advice marathon that seems to start the moment you announce you’re expecting. Let’s face it, everyone suddenly becomes an expert on how to raise your child, and it’s as delightful as a toddler with a permanent marker. Buckle up for a funny and antidotal journey through the wild world of unsolicited parenting tips.
Daycare: The Realization That Someone Else is Going to Help Raise My Baby
Being a New York City mom comes with its own special flavor of chaos. Commuting with a baby? That’s the city’s version of Hogwarts' staircase: just when you think you’ve figured out the perfect route, it changes on you without warning. Picking your form of childcare? Oh, that’s a whole other beast.
The Evolution of Baby Fashion: From Basic to Hilarious
Once upon a time, baby fashion was all about functionality. Think plain white onesies and knitted booties that Grandma made. But oh, how times have changed! Today, baby fashion has evolved into a hilarious, trendy, and downright adorable industry that leaves us cooing at every tiny outfit. Let’s take a trip down memory lane and explore how we went from basic to laugh-out-loud baby fashion.
Mrs. Rachel: The YouTube Savior for Sleep-Deprived Parents Everywhere
If you’ve been in the trenches of new parenthood lately, you’ve probably met Mrs. Rachel. And no, she’s not that overly opinionated mom in your playgroup. Mrs. Rachel is the YouTube sensation who has single-handedly saved the sanity of sleep-deprived parents across the globe. But who is she, really? And how did she become the Queen of Infant / Toddler TV?
Becoming a Father: The Crash Course
Ah, the first kid—where you're equal parts excited and terrified, and feeling completely unprepared for the job. You can try to predict what parenthood will be like, but guess what? You’re doing the predicting, and you’ve got zero experience. It’s like trying to explain snow to someone who’s lived their whole life in the desert—good luck.
12 pregnant animals who are totally over it.
Ah, pregnancy. The time when glowing moms-to-be are celebrated, pampered, and showered with love. But let's be real for a second: pregnancy isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it’s more like storm clouds and angry rhinos. And speaking of rhinos, it turns out that our friends in the animal kingdom are no exception to the rule. Join us as we dive into the wild and wonderful world of animal pregnancy, featuring twelve fierce and fabulous creatures who are just about done with this whole 'expecting' business.
Can Babies regulate their own temperatures?
Today’s topic: Can babies regulate their own body temperatures? Spoiler alert: the answer involves a lot more work for you than for them. Let's break it down!
Preeclampsia Postpartum: The Plot Twist I Didn't See Coming
There I was, 10 centimeters dilated, one leg in my husband’s hands, the other in my nurse’s, gripping the hospital bed rails for dear life. I was locked in on my OB-GYN, who was calmly coaching me through each contraction. “You have to get above the baby with your body,” she said, like I was doing Olympic gymnastics and not, you know, pushing out a human. “Push down and out; he’s gotta get past your pelvis bone.” With everything swirling in my head, I closed my eyes, letting each wave of contractions hit me like an oncoming tide, then sprinting through each push.
What the fuck is brick dust?
Welcome to the wild world of parenting, where every day is an adventure and every diapie change holds the potential for a surprise. Speaking of surprises, let’s talk about one that can really freak out new parents: brick dust. If you’ve ever opened your baby’s diaper and found what looks like reddish, rust-colored powder, you’re not alone. Here’s everything you need to know about this mysterious phenomenon.
Oh, the Birth Story! (With a Side of Spicy Chicken Sandwiches)
Ah, the anticipation of giving birth for the first time. If you're anything like me, you probably spent months gathering every birth story you could find, like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter. "Will my water break like in the movies?" "Will I be that woman who ends up giving birth in the bathroom at home because she didn’t feel a thing?" My mind was a wild tornado of possibilities, each scenario more dramatic than the last.
The Great Fade: How *SOME* Parenting Judgments Magically Disappear After Year One
Ah, the first year of parenthood. It’s a beautiful time filled with baby snuggles, first giggles, and more unsolicited advice than you ever thought possible. From breastfeeding to bedtime routines, it seems everyone has an opinion. But here’s a little secret: all those judgments? They miraculously fade away after the first birthday. Let’s dive into the top five things new parents are judged for and how they magically stop mattering after the big one.
Your pregnant body - 20 things they didn’t tell you about
So, you’re pregnant. Congratulations! Now, prepare yourself for the magical journey of growing a tiny human inside you. It’s like having a houseguest who redecorates without asking and insists on cooking pungent dishes at 2 AM. Here are 20 delightful surprises they didn’t tell you about your pregnant body, and why they happen. Spoiler alert: hormones are to blame for basically everything.